A Roller Coaster of Emotions

Another injection today, this is #5. Kaiden was once again a real tropper!! A starving baby should be screaming in the waiting room, but not this one. He was laughing at Grandma! We had the usual wait time of 2 hours, and he was just starting to get cranky as we were called into the room. The nurses started putting the probes on him, and hooking him up while I was still in the room. He looked freaked out by how many people where hovering over him. I felt the urge to cry, as I left my little baby with strangers to go through this procedure all over. But I didn't cry. I'm sick of crying about this.
The injection went well 15ML removed and Kaiden was great in the recovery room. We had to wait an unusually long time afterwards. We left the hospital at 4...long day!!

It's a few days after the injection, and I'm feeling discouraged. I haven't felt this bad in awhile. I guess with the big space in between injections I kinda forgot about it, or put it out of my mind. I'm now realizing how long of a journey this is going to be for this poor little guy. I'm so proud of him, but I wish so bad that I could be the one going through all this craziness. What would it feel like to be baby put to sleep and wake up with strangers in a weird place. I feel awful! It also looks like his cysts have gotten bigger since the injection. Not sure if it's just swollen a bit. I know after the last one they still decreased for a couple weeks. So I'm trying to be positive. We still have such a long way to go. I wonder if he will ever look 'normal.' I can't believe he's almost 8 months and we still have a long road ahead of us. I've prayed for over a year,  since we found out something was wroung. I know my prayers were answered and the physical aspect is the only thing wroung. But still I feel hopeless and discouraged right now, because we are still dealing with this. I guess I just have to take a deep breath, and go on. But it's a roller coaster ride for sure!

I spoke with my mother-in-law today. I was feeling down and she always makes me feel better. She reminded me about the last injection, where we saw some results right away but then it got hard and popped out like a golf ball. I remember that now that she told me. I remember nursing him and feeling it stick out through my fingers. So I just have to be patient, and the area they injected is hard now. Which also happened last time. Then it got smaller and smaller. So I will be patient, and hope for the best. I am also seeking out a naturopath to look at alternative natural remedies we may be able to try.

Before injection at 8 months old

After injection at 8.5 months old